Life coaching is the art of directing someone's attention to areas that they have missed, thus becoming the enlightenment for their blind spots.
Some people recently have been asking about the link between NLP and life coaching. I hope to answer those questions in this article.
I was already doing life coaching when I came across NLP. My first impression of NLP was witnessing one of my flat mates being relieved of an allergy to cats in about 20 minutes. There was no coaching manual around on how to do that trick!
Then I had one session from an NLP practitioner and released a memory that had been stopping me for about a year to get on with my life. There also was no page found in the coaching manual of how you do that in one hour!
So I grew to know the difference between an NLP practitioner and a life coach. As a life coach, I would expect to have a number of session over an agreed amount of time with a specific outcome in mind. This maybe as many as ten or more sessions.
I would set some goals an have the client agree to terms and conditions: Then we'd start to delve into what to do and how to do it. These days there are some methods which have caught on. One of these is the G.R.O.W. model :
The GROW Model as described here applies to an individual session, but part of its strength is that it can equally well be applied to a part of a session, or to a series of sessions. In each case, the principle is the same.
Firstly, a session must have a Goal or outcome to be achieved. The goal should be as specific as possible and it must be possible to measure whether it has been achieved. So, having identified the goal, questions like "How will you know that you have achieved that goal?" are useful here.
As well as knowing where you are trying to get to, you need to know where you are starting from - the Current Reality. It is surprising how often this is the key part of a coaching session and that by just seeing clearly the situation (rather than what was thought or imagined to be the situation), the resolution becomes obvious and straightforward.
Once you know where you are and where you want to go, the next step is to explore what Options you have for getting there. A useful metaphor for GROW is a map: once you know where you are going (the goal) and where you are (current reality), you can explore possible ways of making the journey (options) and choose the best.
But this in itself is not enough - you must also have the motivation or Will to make the journey. The "W" is often taken to stand for a number of other elements of a session, all of which are important. Myles Downey in his book "Effective Coaching" suggests it stands for "Wrap-up"; others have it standing for What, Where, Why, When and How. But whatever is emphasised, the desired outcome from this stage is a commitment to action.
The GROW acronym suggests that a coach using the GROW model is likely to start by asking the client to set goals, both for what they want to get out of the coaching sessions as a whole and for each individual session.
Using the GROW Model, the coach will begin the discussion by asking the client to define the topic in order to understand what specifically the client wants to talk about, the scale of the challenges they face, the importance and emotional significance of the topic to the client and the client’s long-term vision or goal.
Most coaches will encourage clients to set goals which are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Aligned, Realistic and Time-framed) the idea being that this will assist the client in focusing their thoughts and will also enable them to measure whether they achieve what they are aiming for in the long-term.
In the ‘Reality’ stage of the GROW Model the coach will assist the client in assessing objectively where they currently are in relation to their goal and how they feel about their current situation. This process of discovery is designed to allow the help the client clarify their goals better and as they begin to understand them more deeply what is driving them and what their sources of dissatisfaction are. In summary both coach and client encourage self-assessment and offer explicit examples to demonstrate their points and paint the most accurate picture of the topic as possible.
In the ‘Options’ stage of the GROW Model the idea is not to find a solution immediately, but to generate as many alternative courses of action as possible. Once a number of options have been identified the next stage will be to decide which one the client wants to put into action to help move them towards their goals. In this final ‘Will’ stage of the GROW Model the coach/client relationship is moving from discussion to conclusion and achievement.
One thing to point out here is that this method is appealing to the conscious mind. The contrast with NLP is that NLP is very much directed at the unconscious mind.
Therefore when an NLP practitioner asks questions, they may not be so much listening to the exact words but the reaction to the questions and the associations the client pulls out. If they are good, they also realise that every question should be intimately provided on a carrier wave of intention to heat seek true answers... perhaps answers the client didn't even know existed before the question was uttered!
So then what is a coaching model?
A coaching model is a framework, it does not tell you how to coach but rather it's the underlying structure that you can use for when you're coaching someone.
It's like having a high level strategy that allows you to "see the battlefield," therefore increasing your ability to respond adequately to whatever coaching situation you're faced with.
Learning from different coaching models has definite value, as no one model has all of the answers to all of the challenges you'll be faced with as a coach.
Why are there so many coaching models?
Coaching integrates many fields of knowledge, so it's likely that many theories and models were adapted for coaching. This also means that you have a broader base to learn from.
Having many models available can actually help you when you're creating your own model. Provided you have a way for doing so, that is.
What do most coaching models have in common?
Most coaching approaches share some things in common:
The establishment of a relationship that's built on trust, unfeigned communication and confidentiality.
The formulation of client-based, agreed upon goals and expectations.
A deep questioning and learning dynamic in relation to people's goals.
By learning and understanding each model's commonalities, you can then integrate and effectively create your approach.
Not one model, but many...
Motivational Interviewing - MI is a process that helps solve ambivalence and bring about change.
GROW - A widely used methodology for achieving goals.
SUCCESS - Another coaching model to add to your coaching repertoire.
STEPPPA - This model focuses on your emotions to achieve goals.
WHAT - This model allows you to ask the right questions, it's a simple yet effective strategy towards finding a solution.
When it comes down to qualifications and kudos, it really doesn't matter which model you have been brought up on - it matters whether you can take a client from their point A to their desired point.
That's why I've gone down the NLP coaching route. NLP coaching cares about results, not if you were wearing the right tie when you met someone.
And the manual for clearing out an allergy or phobia in under fifteen minutes has not been written anywhere yet apart from in the NLP World.
Here's some good news for people considering taking up a coaching career. NLP World gives you NLP CPD points which count towards your coaching certification. We have teamed up with The Coaching Society to allow NLP and some other techniques to count towards an accredited certification.
You can use up to 80% of your specific training categories towards your certification as an accredited coach. Therefore from 100 hours of coaching hours required, you can spend up to 80 hours on any of the above (NLP etc.) training towards you certification. The Coaching Society (TCS) require at least 20 hours of core coaching competencies in addition to this. You can acquire these hours from further NLP training or recommended online courses or other recommended coaching companies.
You can visit The Coaching Society by going to www.thecoachingsociety.com
NLP World can be found at www.nlpworld.co.uk
