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Agreement frame

Where you can disagree with a person or subject matter without upsetting the apple cart, as in;

A. I appreciate, and…
B. I respect, and…
C. I agree, and…

self-change

Flexibility is important for effective communication. Avoiding resistance from others keeps others involved in what one is saying and leaves them open to new ideas. Avoiding negations like “but” and “however” in communication goes a long way toward eliminating resistance from others. The agreement frame allows one to converse with others of differing viewpoints while neither creating resistance in others nor compromising one’s own values and beliefs. It is obvious that people don’t like it when you disagree with them, so the “trick” here is firstly agree, then use “and” – then add your opinion or view point. During this process, you need to be sincere in your approach and know that you shouldn’t say that you appreciate, respect or agree with what they are saying if you don’t. Your words need to be chosen carefully.

This process is a form of verbal Aikido – redirecting force rather than attempting to overcome it. You know how annoying it is when you have a decent argument, then someone steps in and says the ‘but’ word! It literally ‘disrespects’ everything you just said, opens a trap door for all your well-constructed words.

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