Kissing self development by Wesley Kew – Clinical Psychologist
I recently had the pleasure of re-experiencing a kiss that I had, had many times before. However, this time was different it was a kiss of epic proportion. It was akin to the first real passionate kiss. Reminding me of a kiss that made time stop, that kiss that makes you believe in a power greater than you. It was the kind of experience that rejuvenates the very essence of your being and desire for connection.
So what is a kiss? Great question, I’m so pleased you asked. A kiss, as Jason Silva reminds us, is to be touched in the most erotic of ways, to be probed, tasted and devoured. One gets to sample the body and mind of the other, traversing deep intimate spaces and places.
This coming together of nerve endings is more than just physical touch; it sets in motion a neurological storm, as a dance of energies commences. Suddenly one is consumed by the presence of the other, like a child being picked up after a fall or feeling the safety of your god touching you and reminding you that you have all that you will ever need inside of you.
In this moment all feelings of anxiety and death dissipate so to fear of the future or longing for the past. It all just goes away. Because, for a moment you have found your elixir, your spring of eternal youth and bliss. Here time and space collapse from under your feet. Otto Rank called this experience: Mysterium Tremndum et Fascinans or to me and you the “numinous”.
As you meet the lips of the other you create something together, you create as J. Silva says “a heart shaped mythology”. This ties in to many who highlight that the shape that we commonly call a heart is in fact, what it looks like when two hearts meet during a warm embrace.
At this point you may be thinking about your loved one or the one you loved or just the first one that helped you believe in love or maybe asking what the hell has this got to do with anything?
Everybody knows that this is the purpose of a kiss and as Cher so aptly asked “Does he love me, I want to know…?” and then the eternal words we have all had stuck in our heads “…if you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss, that’s where it is”.
Sure I know this, so what? What if I told you this experience of the numinous is a personal experience and that in fact it must be experienced inside us, before one can fully enjoy and blissfully peruse it. Especially should one want to sustain this understanding and experience it in the long run.
Lets look at this word “Numinous” or “Mysterium tremendum et fascinans”:
• Mysterium: Wholly Other, experienced with blank wonder, stupor
o Terror, awe absolute unapproachability
o Majesty, might, sense of ones own nothingness in contrast to its power
o Creature-feeling, sense of objective presence, dependence
o Energy, urgency, will, vitality
• Fascinans: potent charm, attractiveness in spite of fear
At some level we intrinsically know that we are made of stardust. That is why we marvel at natural beauty, its gargantuan size and innate perfection. It reminds us of a time when we lay helpless in the arms of a all powerful and loving other, safe, secure and certain in their care. A time where all we had to do was maintain a connection and safety was guaranteed regardless of the reality with its very real dangers.
The fact of the matter is that we must be in touch with our inner divinity should we want to share divinity with the other. It is only when one becomes still, can one begin to feel and hear the soothing and knowledge filled voice of the universe. It is in this moment of understanding our insignificance in the face of the universes magnitude and abundance that we can begin to know that we harbour this very greatness inside if us.
Turn your head upwards as Jimmy Hendrix reminds us “kiss the sky”. Feel the loving embrace and infinite abundance that your god wants to bestow upon you. Remind yourself that we are eternally being kissed and kept safe.
Love begins with looking and looking begins with love as J. Silva reminds us. Make sure that your wanting to look for love inside and beware of what you’re looking at. You are the master of your mind and thus your results. Kiss with passion, kiss as if you’re touching the universe itself and embrace the neurological-storm that will ensue, as you touch the lips of god and breath them in.
Clinical psychologist/ NLP Practitioner